When Self Belief leaves you and how to get it back.
Self Belief. No doubt when you read those words, you had a rush of thoughts flood your mind. Was it anything like this?
YES! I’ve got this. I believe in myself and my abilities. I can do anything I put my mind to. I know who I am and what I bring to the table.
Sigh….where has mine gone? I just don’t feel confident. I am an imposter. I’ve lost my mojo and don’t know anymore what path I’m meant to be on.
I get it! We all sway between the two and when you’re riding high on self belief, you’re in flow and nothing can hold you back, but when the self belief tank is running on low you can feel a sense of helplessness.
I wanted to talk about self belief today because it’s something that I’ve always struggled with. If you know me or meet me for the first time, you’d get the impression that I’m a very confident woman who is self aware and has total belief in what I can achieve. Don’t get me wrong, I am like that a lot of the time, but I do have my own triggers that hit me hard, like a recruitment job not running smoothly, a coaching client I just can’t seem to help, a personal relationship breakdown or even when my fat pants don’t seem to fit!. I start to doubt my purpose, my abilities and at time feel like a total imposter.
I’ve learnt over the years to build up a tool kit to help navigate me out of those moments and these are some steps I take to get that self belief back:
Practising gratitude: I write in my journal every night 3 things that I was grateful for that day. It helps me focus on the positives and helps build a library of good vibes that I can go back and read when I’m doubting myself or my place in the world.
Meditating: I’m a BIG believer in the power of meditation. I meditate every morning for 15 minutes and it not only helps still my mind, it’s a great tool for training your thought patterns to recognise perception vs reality.
Having a support crew: I’m fortunate to have built a beautiful community around me of supportive family, friends and colleagues. When I have a confidence crisis, I know who I can turn to and have a vent, cry or woe is me moment and they’ll give me a reality check and pep me up.
Exercise: I used to absolutely hate this word. Exercise to me equated to sweat – which I’m NOT a fan of. However, I’ve learnt, particularly over the past 5 years that exercising daily in the form of a walk, yoga or swinging a golf club not only boosts my mood, but from regular practice I get better and better at my downward dog or putting, and that in turn gives me confidence.
Reflection: At the end of every month I write a list of what I did well that month and what my highlights were. Again, this can distance you from the not so great stuff and let you focus on what you’re good at. I had a particularly tough month in March personally, but when I wrote my reflection list, I realised that there was an overwhelming amount of good and kick ass achievements which helped me move into April with a bounce in my step.
There are lots of other little tips and tricks I use as I know to be successful in my work and life, I need self belief. When all else fails, I lean towards the, “fake it ‘till you make it” mentality and that gets me through in the meantime. I’d love to hear your self belief hacks - so feel free to share!
Be Fabulous xx